Tag Archives: humor

Toni’s Extrovert Diaries~ T.E.D. Talk Day 5

29 Mar

“Sheltering in place isn’t all that bad if you have a nice safe place to shelter in.”

~Toni Armenta Andrukaitis

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When I mention a nice safe place to shelter in, I’m not talking about a house or apartment or luxury resort. The best place to shelter in is in your head. Too many people are watching the news 24/7, and quoting death statistics, and basically have turned their heads into a non-stop Armageddon Doomsday Dramedy. That’s no way to live. The stress alone will kill you quicker than any virus. Stay home! Stay safe! Turn of the damn news! Watch Hallmark movies!

This weekend, this introvert had trouble sitting still. I went for a lot of walks. Yesterday, I watched a live streaming of Pope Francis delivering a special Urbi et Orbi Blessing and plenary indulgence for the world. The normally teeming Plaza was totally empty, which made the solemnity even more moving. (We need all the help we can get.)

While I’m out walking, I see quite a few people outside with their kids and pets. I stay a safe distance on my walks, but I noticed that some folks will cross the street if someone is on the same sidewalk. That’s tough. I usually like to stop and talk to people on my journeys.

I did have a nice conversation with Miss Kathy’s cats. They were happy to see me and purred and chatted and let me pet them through the fence.

The YMCA is closed, but Maria does some live streaming videos on Zoom in her backyard. I logged into the Zumba class, and it wasn’t even the easy Zumba Gold class. It was the advanced version. Pretty strenuous. Yikes! It’s been a while, and I was pretty worn out after watching for 55 minutes. It probably would have been even harder if I got off the couch and followed along. Just kidding. I followed along and was pretty sweaty by the time I was done. Gracias Maria.

I like to follow my own advice, so I watched a lot of Hallmark movies today. For some reason most of them were Christmas movies, but that’s ok. Each one is such a surprise thriller. Boy meets girl, they fall in love and live happily ever after. Talk about escaping reality. Ain’t nothing real about those movies. But, it beats the news.

After a long hard day of Hallmark movies, talking to cute cats, checking emails and Facebook a hundred times, it was nice to take a late evening walk. The crescent moon sparkled with the planet Venus twinkling just beneath the glow. It was calm and peaceful. Now, for a glass of wine and more mindless TV. (No news is good news.)

Happy Saturday, my friends.

Toni’s Extrovert Diaries~T.E.D. Talk Day 2

26 Mar

“There’s nothing more disconcerting than an extrovert having to stay home and clean. You actually sit around the house and notice dirt and mess.”

~ Toni Armenta Andrukaitis

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Well, today is Day 2 of SHELTERING IN PLACE. The sad part is, this place is a mess. I wish I’d been confined in a cleaner house because I never really noticed how messy mine was. I was never home to notice. I actually discovered an extra bedroom upstairs that I completely forgot about. You laugh, but it’s true.

So, yesterday when I was busy counting how many sheets of toilet paper was actually on the Angel Soft double roll, I had many comments and questions asking how many sheets I counted.

I’m VERY pleased to inform you that the first roll I counted actually had 264 sheets. FOUR extra bonus sheets. I think I’m going to write to Georgia-Pacific Consumer Products to thank them for their extreme generosity.

For today’s excitement, I visited with

my old friend Henrietta Hoover. I didn’t have to travel very far because she lives in my closet. (Remember-stay home, stay safe.) You can watch me taking Henrietta back home after a long day.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aLbCKjECI9A

It’s not easy being a “Stay at Home Extrovert.”

Stay safe, go vacuum, count your toilet paper sheets, and have a great day… but wash your hands first.

Tuesday:) Toni’s Extrovert Diaries~T.E.D. TALKS Day 1

24 Mar

“Extroverts communicate well with others, Introverts communicate well with themselves”

― pablo **********

My friends and I have been doing a lot of texting, calling, and video chats on Facebook with all this mayhem going on. Yesterday, Sherry sent this funny video of a friend of hers who was talking up close and personal to the camera about his adventures with self-quarantining and sheltering from home. During these stressful times, it’s good to laugh a little, even at our own expense.

I thought to myself, “Self… I do and say a lot of stupid stuff, even without trying. I should make some of my own videos.” I always wanted to do stand-up comedy, because I live in a pretty silly world inside my head.

When making a video, you have to come up with a catchy title. I’m a big fan of the TED TALKS, and have listened and learned from these informative and instructional free videos. So, I decided to make my own instructional and informative videos with a little levity to combat my confinement. Being an extrovert, this staying at home, indoors, no human contact, is life-threatening.

I stay up way too late at night because I really don’t have to set my alarm for anything in the morning. Here’s how my morning went today…

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Mz9LGrwTGBs

Saturday:) Just Sittin’ Around

22 Mar

People teach their dogs to sit; it’s a trick. I’ve been sitting my whole life, and a dog has never looked at me as though he thought I was tricky.

Mitch Hedberg

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This sitting around and not socializing isn’t suited for extroverts. There are only so many glasses of wine in those big wine-in-a-box containers. Ask me how I know.

Let’s see what I got accomplished today…

I played with the dog. I fed the dog, I walked the dog many times. The dog said, “Please, not another walk, I’m exhausted!” Not really. She likes her walks.

Then, there are hundreds of Hallmark movies to catch up on. But, all in one day? Pass the popcorn.

Oh, let’s not forget that book that a very good friend loaned you. Did someone say, “Wine-in-a-box?

Ah! It’s 9:09pm as I’m writing this, and I’m smiling. There’s an angel in heaven that knows that magic time on the clock. I would call her every day at 9:09. Miss you Mom.

I’m sure your day looked pretty much like mine. Stay safe, my friends.

Wednesday:) Elvis on the Shelvis Day 2

12 Dec

“A well-developed sense of humor is the pole that adds balance to your steps as you walk the tightrope of life.”

William Arthur Ward

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Well, if you enjoyed day one of Elvis on the Shelvis, there’s plenty more to come.

Day 2~ Elvis on the Shelvis

Elvis is sitting on the tv Shelvis next to a nutcracker pirate, enjoying a very Merry Chrismukkah.

Happy Wednesday, my friends.

Tuesday:) Toni’s Latest Craze~ ELVIS ON THE SHELVIS

11 Dec

“Instead of Elf on the Shelf, I decided that Elvis on the Shelvis was a lot cuter. Don’t you think so?”

~ Toni Armenta Andrukaitis

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I was never a big fan of Elf on the Shelf. There are some underlying reasons for that, but I won’t get into that. It’s an old story, and it involves a Ho Ho Ho. So, I decided that something more creative should take its place.

I’d like to start a new holiday tradition, and I was inspired by my good friend Pat Richter, better known as the Cookie Lady. She is the biggest Elvis fan that I’ve ever met. Well, maybe a close second to my son, Joe. When I was scouring the internet, looking for some small Elvis dolls, I couldn’t find any at home in McKinney before my trip to Chicago, so I gave up the idea. Low and behold, my grand-daughter received a vintage Elvis and Barbie collectible doll set for her birthday last week.

. Yay!

Now, I could start my new craze of posing Elvis on different Shelvis’ (shelves) around the house. My son’s house was the perfect place to start. He has Elvis stuff everywhere.

Tada……

Day 1~ Elvis on the Shelvis

If you like my idea, please let me know. If you have an Elvis somewhere around the house, maybe pose him him somewhere fun and take a picture. I’d love to see it.

Happy Tuesday, my friend.

Tuesday:) Takin’ A Trip~ Beam Me Up, Scotty

23 Oct

“All my bags are packed, I’m ready to go. I’m standing here outside your door.”

John Denver

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Some people love to travel. I don’t like to travel, especially the preparation part of travel. Once I get there, I’m fine. I was looking forward to my trip to Chicago to see my granddaughters, and visit with friends and family.

Here’s how I prepare. I send out annoying emails to friends a week ahead of time to see who is able to take me to and from the airport. I have great friends, so I always get volunteers, but I know it’s a pain in the butt. Then, I spend endless hours, spinning my wheels cleaning the house before I leave. You never know! If something happens to me, I’d be embarrassed if someone went into my dirty house.

Last night, I decided I wanted to spot clean a small area of my carpet in the family room because it is so darn dirty from foot traffic. Mostly my dirty foot. So, at 11 pm, I’m trying to read complicated directions on the handheld carpet cleaner while laundry is spinning in the dryer. I spilled water all over myself. I was leaving this the morning, so of course I hadn’t packed, and there I am spot cleaning and doing laundry at midnight.🤦‍♀️

I finally went to sleep a little after 2am, my unpacked suitcase sitting on the far end of the bed. My dear friend and designated airport driver, Karen, was picking me up around 10:30 this morning. Plenty of time to pack. Right?

Instead of packing this morning, I was wiping down kitchen counters, putting away dishes, wiping the stove and fridge, oh my, spots on the handles and side of the fridge door. Better open it up and clean. Look at those sticky shelves, better give them a wipe too. Oops, I should water that new crepe myrtle tree in the back yard. I get crazy. Does anyone else do that?

10 o’clock, I should probably pack my suitcase. I pack light. Fifteen minutes, done! I walked around the house, looked to see that everything was tidy, then sat in the piano room by the front window. I tinkered at the piano while I waited with a poor prehistoric version of, “As Time Goes By.” Karen was right on time and off we went.

Traffic was smooth, so we got to the airport in less than an hour. I walked in, went to the kiosk and printed out a boarding pass. Granted, I had a scanner boarding pass on my phone, did a back-up screen shot, printed it out, but still needed to print an official pass. You can never be too prepared. As I proceeded to Gate C33, I noticed a sign that said Chapel. Hmm? Maybe I should stop in and say a few prayers, just for extra back up.

Well, the Chapel was WAY down on the other end of the terminal, but I had over an hour to spare. About a Mike later, I finally arrived, plopped my bags down and closed my eyes. The empty and quiet Chapel was what I needed to sooth my restless spirit. Ah, yes.

The flight started boarding on time, but I was in section 9, the last to board. That’s OK, I got a cheap flight and didn’t have a lot to carry. The flight was packed, and I had a middle seat between two young 20 something people. They were quiet and both strangers slept almost the entire way there, I tried to doze, but my head kept bobbing and my mouth kept dropping open. Most embarrassing. I probably made strange noises too.

When we landed, the pilot came on the PA to request we all remain in our seat until the paramedics arrive to take care of our medical emergency, Woa! What emergency? I guess someone behind us got very sick and they had to check it out. I think the lady was OK. We all deplaned without incident.

See, if that was me being sick and having an emergency, I’d say to myself. “Aren’t you glad you cleaned the house before you left?”

My sister Jo picked me up at O’Hare 3D, and traffic wasn’t to bad, so we went out to dinner on the way home. I’ll see the grand-daughters in a couple of days. So, all is well with the world.

But, I really would like it much better if I didn’t have to go to the airport and just be teleported or beamed up to my destination. Let’s work on that, Scotty.