Tag Archives: humor

Wednesday:) Words of Wisdom

8 Nov

“When the going gets tough, the tough bake brownies. That pretty much cures anything.”

~Toni Armenta Andrukaitis

**************************

My friend, Miss Pat, posted on Facebook last week that Kroger had brownie mixes on sale, with store card for… wait for it… 79cents a box. Be still my heart. She also posted that everyone better get to the store before Toni buys them all. Hmm? Why would she say such a thing?

Funny, as I’m writing this, I have two more batches in the oven. Hold on. I’ll go take a picture…. I’m back…

I’m going to take some for my church group tonight at 7. They’ll still be warm. It’s after 6 already. Then, I’ll have some for tomorrow’s karaoke potluck at the VFW.

I think I’ve gone through 8 boxes in the past week. Every time I bake for an event, I bake an extra batch for my firemen at Station 9. I asked them yesterday if they were getting tired of my brownies yet. They said, “NO MAM!We gobble them up and we don’t leave any for the next shift.” Aw, high praises. I also asked them if they’d save my container, and that I’d swap it out for a new one with more brownies or cookies. I go through a lot of containers too. They were happy to oblige.

Now, you see why I was so excited about the sale. I didn’t buy all of them on the shelf. But, I did take all the dark fudge chocolate boxes, leaving the milk chocolate ones for the less discerning bakers.

That should last me till Christmas…I hope.

Wednesday:) What’s Cookin’ Miss Toni?~ Chicken Pot Pie Pasta

24 Oct

“When you can’t decide what to cook, open the freezer and the pantry, just throw it all in a big pot and hope for the best.”

~Toni Armenta Andrukaitis

**************************

Well, so much for the sunshine. I needed my raincoat and umbrella for my morning walk. Seeing as I’m stranded here all afternoon, waiting for Joplin’s AC and Heating to come for my fall check up and filter change, I’ll do a little painting and have some of my homemade Chicken Pot Pie Pasta.

This is how my brain works when I cook. (No recipe was harmed in the making of this concoction.) I open my overstuffed freezer and fridge and see what I have.

Sunday, I bought some fried chicken, on sale, of course. I only ate one piece, so the rest was in the fridge. Hmm, chicken soup maybe? So, I peeled off and discarded the crunchy skin, and threw the meat in a big pot to boil while I went for a long walk. When I came home, I scooped out the chicken to cool while I diced up and threw in carrots, onions, celery. Let’s see what’s in the freezer? Several small bags of diced red pepper, green pepper, some spinach, and more onion. All small leftovers waiting for a new-over. Ooh, a bag of frozen peas. I needed to get a second big pot to divide and conquer.

Let’s see what’s in the pantry? A couple of cans of corn, 3 cans of cream of chicken soup, and two boxes of mini penne pasta. While all the veggies cooked, I peeled all the meat from the cooled chicken bones, diced that up and added to the soup. Because it started looking like the inside of a chicken pot pie, I added three cans of cream of chicken soup. Now, if I just had a pie crust the size of a laundry tub, I’d make a big pot pie. Nope!

DID I MENTION THAT I DON’T KNOW HOW TO COOK SMALL FOR ONE PERSON?

I let that simmer several hours while I procrastinated on Facebook. Then, I got out yet another big pot and boiled the mini penne pasta, drained, and added to the mixtures.

After it cooled, I got out all my plastic containers and started filling them up, sprinkling a little Parmesan cheese on top. Now, what to do with all this yummy food?

I took four containers and four turkey sandwiches to Miss Nelma over at Towne Creek when I visited her the other day. (She’s feeling a tiny bit better now and has a little appetite.) that should last her a few days. I took one container to Miss Kathy across the street, one over to Mr. Danny around the corner, and I put two in Mr. Mike’s freezer. I ate a big bowl yesterday, and only have two containers left in the fridge. I’ll have some for dinner today. Maybe sooner than later. All these pictures are making me hungry.

(Disregard all the beer on the side. Some of those bottles have been in there a couple of years. Does beer go bad?)

So, that’s my un-recipe for chicken pot pie pasta.

Theme Song Thursday:) Here Comes the Sun…NOT!

18 Oct

“The rumors of the sun making a brief appearance in North Texas have been greatly exaggerated.”

~ Toni Armenta Andrukaitis

***************************

This morning I woke up at the crack of noon…just kidding, I woke up around 9, but I went to bed at 2:30 am, so I just lolligaggled around till noon. (Is that a real word? Spellcheck didn’t like it.) To quote a line from a Santana song, “Evil Ways,”…”My house is dark and pots are cold.” It’s been rainy and gloomy and cold all week, actually a few weeks. My house is dark and I guess my pots are cold. I really don’t have any pots. We went from the scorching heat of summer to instant fall.

I made a cup of hot tea and sat with my iPad, checking my emails and Facebook. One of my friends posted that the sun was out. Oh man! I looked out the window. It wasn’t too dark, there was no pelting of rain. Promising. Hope springs eternal. I posted on Facebook that I heard a rumor that the sun was out, so I was going for a walk.

Optimistically, I put on my gym shoes and grabbed my sunglasses and scurried out the door. I never did see the sun, as it was veiled in whitish grayish streaks of clouds.

Instead of being disappointed, I thought, “At least it’s not raining!” Now, that’s a glass half full or all the way full kinda attitude. As I strolled under the trying-to-come-out sun, I sang an optimistic song. The power of positive thinking, or positive singing.

“Here Comes the Sun…”

https://youtu.be/xUNqsfFUwhY

My weather alert on my phone just dinged this very second, “A brief rain shower will begin around 5:06.” It’s been dinging all week. ENOUGH ALREADY!!! I better keep singing…Here comes the sun…da da da da…here comes the sun.. Everybody sing along with the Beatles.

Soggy Saturday:) SEW WHAT!

13 Oct

“When I couldn’t draw, I took a drawing class. When I couldn’t cook, I learned from my mother. When I couldn’t sew on a button or hand stitch a hem, I just asked my mom or my sister or a friend for help. I’m SEW BAD!

~Toni Armenta Andrukaitis

**************************

On this dreary soggy Saturday, I was thinking about what I was going to write about today. So, I did what I always do when I need to think. I went for a walk. It was only drizzling a little bit, so I put up the hood on my raincoat, grabbed my umbrella and went for a walk. I stopped by Mr. Larry’s and Ms. Sandy’s house a few blocks away, and I knew they wouldn’t be sitting in the garage, so I called on the phone. They didn’t answer, but the garage door opened up a few seconds later. They saw me. It was only about 10 am, so it was too early for a beer…darn. We sat and chatted a while about neighbors and news and old age health issues, etc. Suddenly, the rain came pelting down like crazy.

We sat there a long while, and it never did clear up. About an hour passed, with no end in sight, I pulled up my hood and opened my umbrella and said “adieu.” Actually, I don’t speak French, I just said that I needed to go. I was offered a ride home, but my sneakers were already soaked and I was pretty damp. By the time I got home, I was drenched.

The good news was, just as I approached my front door, my phone rang. My friend Sherri Murphy asked if I’d like to go with her to the Flower and Bulb Sale at Myers Park. I said sure, and when she asked how soon I could be ready, I said that I just had to peel off my sopping wet clothes, put on dry clothes and find a pair of shoes in the driest condition. Did I mention it’s been rainy a lot? All my shoes are wet.

We had fun looking at all the different flowers, shrubs, plants and bulbs. I didn’t buy anything, because if you know me…I kill everything green. I have a black thumb. I can paint a flower, I just can’t grow a flower. After the sale, we had a yummy lunch at Taqueria Hernandez on Tennessee. It’s Mexican food, but I laugh and just call it “FOOD.” I’m Mexican…little joke, there.

Now for the SEWING part of the story. I never did learn to sew when I was growing up. Both my sisters could sew up a storm and could create any beautiful outfit without blinking. Mom didn’t even use a pattern. She would just look at something, cut out some fabric, and a few minutes later, it was done. When my kids were small, Mom would come to visit for a few days, and in the closet of the guest room would be all my mending needs, hemming, buttons, tears, etc. I kept her pretty busy.

This is how I mend today…

My black slacks that I wear to church. The hem came undone, and I was running late for church. That was a year ago.

This blouse needed a couple of stitches. Well, I don’t own turquoise thread. Who has turquoise thread?

SEW WHAT!!!! That’s what God made safety pins for. I would have used glue, but it might have come out in the wash. I’m not lazy, I’m just creatively resilient and clever.

Tuesday:) Toni’s Timely Weather Tip of the Day

9 Oct

“The sun did not shine. It was too wet to play. So we sat in the house. All that cold, cold, wet day.”

― Dr. Seuss, The Cat in the Hat

******************************

Again! More relentless rain. I drove to Zumba this morning with threatening clouds on the way, then returned home an hour later with black clouds and pelting rain. That was over seven hours ago, and there are no signs of a cease fire. Or should I say cease water?

So, here are my very timely and well tested and Toni approved tips for a rainy day…

1. If it rains all day with no end in sight… take a nap. (You can’t go out and play. Especially if you only had five hours of sleep.)

2. Before you take a nap, drink a tall glass of water so you don’t have to set your alarm in fear of sleeping all day. (Better than an alarm clock. I know.)

3. Disregard tip 2. Because you’ll have to get up to go to the bathroom three or four times and won’t be able to fall asleep. (Ask me how I know?)

4. After the second or third time having to get up to go to the bathroom, grab your favorite stuffed animal or real animal for comfort, then try to fall asleep, despite the pelting rain against the windows. (My son Matt brought this little lion back for me from South Africa when he went for the World Cup. He went with only a backpack, yet brought his momma back a special souvenir gift. I’ll always treasure it.)

5. When all else fails, just get up and have a nice cup of tea, some pecan pie with a big scoop of sea salt caramel ice cream. (I never did fall asleep. Maybe I was just hungry.)

6. Last but not least, put on your raincoat, grab your tools, and get back out into the yard and finish working on the ark. You’re gonna need it. (Don’t forget the animals, two by two. No mosquitos, scorpions or snakes, please.)

Thursday:) This Is Why Us Old People Should Wear Their Glasses

5 Oct

“I only need glasses to see fine print or anything smaller than an elephant.”

~Toni Armenta Andrukaitis

I can’t think without my glasses.”

~Vivienne Westwood

Yesterday, when I was taking the trash cans out of the garage, I noticed two very large ant hills next to the garage door, up against the bricks. Oh no! I went into the garage and grabbed the big container of ant spray from the shelf, where I always keep it. I sprayed and I sprayed, and to make sure they really were dead, I also put some of that white powder.

While I was at it, I decided to spray the entire perimeter of the house, and all the window sills to make sure the ants didn’t get carried away and decide to come inside to cool off. I sprayed and I sprayed. I was so proud of my endeavors. I went back to check on the ant hills. A few were still crawling around, so I sprayed some more.

The GOOD news is, when I checked the ant hills this morning, it looked like ALL the ants were dead. The BAD news is, when I looked by the front door when I went for a walk this morning, I looked at the big container of spray. IT WAS WEED AND GRASS KILLER!

The ants are dead, no weeds or grass are going to grow on my windowsills and doorways. BUT, I have a funny feeling that all the grass along the perimeter of my house may not be looking too good in a few days.

Nest time, I’m going to wear my glasses!

Frugal Friday, Faith, and Fixin’ to Fix My Famous Black Russian

29 Sep

“Can anything be so elegant as to have few wants, and to serve them one’s self?”

― Ralph Waldo Emerson

***********************

It was a strange misty morning. I walked the dog, then went for a long walk by myself. It was only in the 60’s, (yay) so I wore a sweater. Later, I went to the bank and stopped at Papa Murphy’s Pizza to say hi to Miss Karri, then to Tom Thumb for a few groceries on sale. Yes, eggs were on sale for 69 cents a dozen. I go through a lot with my brownies and cupcakes. Then, they had those cute grape tomatoes for $1 a container. Well, I could go on… I only buy things on sale, unless it’s an emergency. I AM FRUGAL.

I hadn’t eaten all day, so McDonald’s was right across the parking lot. I love my McD app that has all kinds of fun coupons and discounts. Today, I ordered a crispy chicken sandwich for $1. Yes! Can you believe it? It was very good.

I could have gone to a fancy restaurant and spent $20 on a mediocre lunch, but I like to save my time and money for special occasions and to be with special friends. When I’m alone, $1 sandwich is just fine, and it’s fast, and it’s cheap… I mean frugal. Actually, there was 8cents tax. So, it was really $1.08 for lunch.

After my gourmet lunch, I decided to stop in at St. Gabriel’s for Friday Adoration and to light a candle. Today, I decided that instead of praying for a specific intention or person or concern, I was just going to spend a few minutes in church just to say, “Thank you!” I am very thankful for my many blessings. The sanctuary was empty and I was alone to light my candle and say a prayer. It was very peaceful.

Then, I walked into the back chapel where The Eucharist was on display for Adoration. There were about half a dozen people there in quiet meditation. I really admire people who take time out to give thanks, pray for others, and show respect for their faith. It’s a good thing.

I came home, walked the dog again, and another solo walk. I was in time for a beer in Mr. Larry and Miss Sandy’s garage. I told them that their house was the Beer Garden Garage. Mr. Joe from across the street was already sitting there in the extra lawn chair.

So, here I am. Fixin’ to fix my famous Friday night Black Russian.

This is how it starts, with a frozen chocolate almond ball, then some ice cream, some vodka and kahlua. It’s a scientific concoction. Not really. I just pour glugs of this and that, add some ice cream and… what’s not to like?

Happy Friday my friends.