Tuesday: Tearful Dawns and Trepidation

19 Aug

Sometimes we have to soak ourselves in the tears and fears of the past to water our future gardens.” ― Suzy Kassem


You cannot control the tears or the fears that haunt your restless dreams.

~ Toni Armenta Andrukaitis


Just when I thought the endless mornings of waking to tear filled eyes and tear stained pillows were over, no such luck. I still can’t remember the majority of my dreams like I used to years ago. Perhaps this is a blessing. 

I have no idea what I was dreaming about when I woke up crying this morning. That’s good, right? All I know is, my waking hours have been filled with unpleasant painful thoughts and trepidation. That’s why I walk and run so much. That’s why I write every day. It helps to distract me with beautiful sunrises and sunsets. The sweat and racing heart helps to remind me that I’m alive and that I’m amazing. The writing helps me focus on what is beautiful in my life. 

I’m afraid that only time, the truth, and telling my story will release me from this endless curse. I WILL TELL MY STORY!

I’m ready to walk through the fire. 

2 Responses to “Tuesday: Tearful Dawns and Trepidation”

  1. Dan Hen August 19, 2015 at 8:34 am #

    My mother used to say : It all comes out in the wash . I say : It is what it is . I think there’s a beatitude there somewhere , too , that addresses the fact that we must go on . I know , I know , well-meaning advice doesn’t help .

  2. GP Cox August 19, 2015 at 10:01 am #

    “In the lives of the saddest of us there are bright days when we feel as if we could take the great world in our arms. Then come the gloomy hours… Believe me, every heart has its secret sorrows of which the world knows not and oftentimes we call a man cold – when he is only sad.” ____ Longfellow

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